Dream Big, Or Go Home

Last weekend I went Louisville, KY to watch a little race called the Ironman. As you know, the BF was participating and it was his first full IM - but there were also about 15 other athletes from KC that were also racing. Add in family and friends, and you have one big party!!

It was a whirlwind of activity - not just on race day, but during the days leading up to the race as well. And you know what? I was totally at peace and happy. Just blissed out happy. Coulda been the weather (mid- to upper-80s most of the time), coulda been the people, coulda been that I'm a triathlete and was thrown into one full-on-intense weekend of nothing but the one sport I truly love, coulda been I was not racing. :)

My thoughts about Ironman came and went. During the swim, I thought "Ha! Ha! Suckers!!!", then in La Grange watching the bike, I thought "I could totally do this! It looks like so much fun!" and then on the run, "Whoa. This place is a graveyard."

Hey, I'm just being honest.

All of my friends had awesome races on Sunday (yes, even you Mer!) and it inspired me. NOT to do Ironman myself - come on people, you know me! - but it lit a fire in me and got me thinking about my own training and my own goals for sport.

My biggest struggle is, and has always been, motivation. Not for training - I get the work done - but I lack the "GRRR!" I would say that, even though I put 100% effort into my training and racing, I'm only putting about 80% heart into it.

This fall, before I start training for 2011, before Liz and I start "dating" again, I am going to work on fixing this. Fixing my self-esteem, fixing my heart and my head so that when November 1 rolls around, I'm ready to go. I want to fix it so that when February is here and I can't stand another trainer ride, another ice-cold run, or another dark drive to the pool, I've got a fire in me so bright that I KNOW why I am putting myself through it all - and it will be WORTH IT. Every second. Fix it so that when June rolls around, when I'm typically burnt out, I'm still going strong!! Instead of dreading that bike/run/bike/run/bike/run workout at the track at 4am, I'm looking forward to it like a kid on Christmas Eve!

I got to thinking a couple weeks ago, "what if actually did everything I knew was right? what if I actually stretched after every workout? what if I ate for recovery and drank 64oz + water every day? what if I actually believed in myself?"

The answer was, "I would be one hell of an athlete!!"

And with that, I drew up an ambitious 2011 race schedule. Like, REALLY ambitious. Still all short course, and no, I'm not trying to qualify for Kona. Only three people know what's on it - Coach, the BF and me. I like it that way.

But ... in the meantime while I'm trying to fix this "stuff", I have two more months of FUN! Two more months of mental prep before I put the body through the wringer again.

Dream big or go home. Just watch me!